The Jews were fascinated by the number seven. It reminded them of the seven days of creation and suggested perfection. So, when Peter queried whether he would be a great hero if he forgave someone seven times, he was speaking in a very Jewish way. Seven times would be perfect. No, says Jesus. You have to be prepared to forgive seventy times seven, an ‘over the top’, totally extravagant proposition which was meant to jolt Peter to see that there are no limits to the need to forgive.
But Jesus still keeps the sevens resonating in his answer because he wants to say that to forgive is like a new act of creation: it creates life where there was the deadly desire for revenge, and light where there was darkness. So, let’s look at this sort of forgiveness more closely, at the macro and the micro levels.
I once had the great privilege of shaking hands with Nelson Mandela at a Parliament House reception. Why was the crowd pressing up to this man, hoping to touch him? Partly because of his great victory over apartheid in South Africa. (Doesn’t that word sound so apt in English: apart-hate.) Mostly, I think, because when he came to power he did not set out ‘to get even’, making sure that the ‘punishment fits the crime’, to exact revenge on those who had killed and tortured the blacks and coloureds of his beloved country. Rather, he offered forgiveness to the offenders. Through the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, confession and admission of complicity in apartheid would lead to the closing of the books and a new beginning. It is that sort of forgiveness – the closing of the books and a new beginning – which we dare to ask of God for ourselves. But here's the catch: it is that sort of forgiveness which we must practise towards others. When we don’t, we are like the principal debtor in Jesus’ story. In harshly dealing with a disproportionately minor debtor, he refused to share his king’s quality of forgiveness. If we don’t pass on this aspect of God’s life to others, then we are warned that we will end up in a hellish situation unable to share in divine life.
After all, don’t we pray daily: ‘ ... forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us ... ’ Let us keep going at the micro level. I don’t like the phrase: ‘Forgive and forget’. It is impossible to forget some terrible hurts or injustices done to one. In fact, it could be dangerous to forget because one could put oneself in a vulnerable situation again. Remembering can be an important part of healing. So, forgiving is not forgetting.
It is about giving up the desire ‘to get even’. It is to give up the all-consuming passion to make sure the wrongdoer ‘pays the full price’ for the wrongdoing. And it is good for us. As the Chinese proverb says: ‘If you desire revenge, dig two graves. One for the wrongdoer, one for yourself.’
It is easy to talk ‘big picture’ such as Mandela in South Africa. I know it is much harder within the family and within our circle of acquaintances. Here we can carry resentfulness for weeks or months or years. Forgiveness is to give up the cold shoulder and the wounding silences when you know the other person is desperate for one gesture, one word. In my experience, when deeply wounded by someone, it may take years to forgive them. It seems impossible to simply will it. But we have to ask for the grace to do it. After all, a lot is at stake: ‘Our Father who art in Heaven ….... forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.’.
© Rev Prof Michael Tate, https:///www.liturgyhelp.com/calendar/date/2026Sep13/0/HomMiTa